a lamp - a lifeboat

arcanewinter:

huntersonahotelbed:

oh my fucking god

so i’m reading this harry potter fic

and every now and then there are words like “arseented” and “marseaging” and “arseistance” and i was trying to figure out what the hell is going on

finally i got to the word “parse” and figured it out

they’re american so after they wrote it they did a find and replace to change every “ass” to “arse”

i can’t stop laughing omg

"Word has made 436 replacements."

"That sounds right."

foodffs:

Key Lime Pie with Honey Graham Crust
Really nice recipes. Every hour.
a-spooky-closed-casket:

michygeary:

I WANT EVERYONE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THIS REALEST SHIT

I didn’t understand what the jab was at until I read the last line

a-spooky-closed-casket:

michygeary:

I WANT EVERYONE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THIS REALEST SHIT

I didn’t understand what the jab was at until I read the last line

verbosetherapy:

I think you can tell a lot about a person by which death in Harry Potter hurt them the most.

hobbitsaremyhomeboys:

Wax Museums are weird. Who decided that was a thing? 

Museum curator: Business is slow. We need something to liven up the place. Any ideas?

Curator’s assistant: Um. What about life size wax replicas of famous people?

Museum curator: Perfect! 

mildlyamused:

oh man wouldn’t it be GREAT if Hollywood gave Medusa the movie treatment and showed her as the tragic wronged hero she was? Just chillin’ out as a just a ordinary woman until Poseidon raped her in Athena’s temple and instead of being like “DUDE UNCLE NO WTF ARE YOU DOING?!” and smiting him, Athena punished the victim and turned her into a monster with snakes for hair…only wait Athena isn’t an idiot and how could she even punish the god of the sea? But she could give Medusa the power to make sure no man ever laid a goddamn finger on her again. Until Perseus traipsed in and fucked it all up. Way to go idiot. I bet if you’d just asked nicely she might have turned shit to stone for you.

mildlyamused:

oh man wouldn’t it be GREAT if Hollywood gave Medusa the movie treatment and showed her as the tragic wronged hero she was? Just chillin’ out as a just a ordinary woman until Poseidon raped her in Athena’s temple and instead of being like “DUDE UNCLE NO WTF ARE YOU DOING?!” and smiting him, Athena punished the victim and turned her into a monster with snakes for hair…only wait Athena isn’t an idiot and how could she even punish the god of the sea? But she could give Medusa the power to make sure no man ever laid a goddamn finger on her again. Until Perseus traipsed in and fucked it all up. Way to go idiot. I bet if you’d just asked nicely she might have turned shit to stone for you.

unsuccessfulmetalbenders:

if u think that there has ever been a greater scene on television think again

--> Sam Heughan

happymonsters:

I am never not thinking of food.

happymonsters:

I am never not thinking of food.

theglasschild:

do you ever cook something in the microwave but it’s still really cold in the middle and you just keep eating it instead of heating it longer because life is pointless and entropy is unavoidable and the universe is filled with callous and casual destruction

lexcanroar:

effingtomb:

you-and-me-divine:

If you didn’t think “Shia LaBeouf” could get better, you were wrong.

I literally can’t believe this exists there are tears in my eyes that I don’t remember crying

I laughed so hard that my mum came in and I had to show her and then she laughed A LOT